Thankfulness

Life has been a very trying and difficult the past few weeks. I have been having a hard time trying to grasp why there is so much pain and agony in this world. As a Christian, I know that this is because of the fall of man and that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. Cancer is the main thing that I can’t seem to understand. Every Christian sins and fails time and time again, but I don’t understand why so many good people are diagnosed with such a horrible disease. I have always known about how terrible cancer is and how it has affected my family in the past. Unfortunately, this year, I have had to experience watching several people suffer from it. Not only have I seen some of these people suffer, but have seen their families and friends suffer along with them. As I lay in bed every night and pray, I find myself asking God why he could allow these wonderful people to suffer like this. More often than not, I am brought to tears when thinking about it. God has been so comforting and strengthening throughout my relationship with Him. It is so hard when I doubt his power to heal. Every time I think about cancer and the negative effects that it has, I get very angry. I tend to think the worst and instead of hoping for the best. Throughout this past month, I believe that God has been working through me and in my heart to teach me that someone being diagnosed with cancer is not the end of the world.

This past weekend I took 3 friends (Lorah, Rachel, and Lynnae) to my hometown of Ripon. I had pretty low expectations for the weekend and was instead blessed tremendously by my family and friends. There were some things that I was really hoping to do while I was home and ended up getting to busy to do them. In the end it was all okay. Even with only about 60 hours actually spent in Nor Cal, I felt that I grew so much closer to my family and to my friends (from PCC and home). There are so many days that I wake up and dwell on all the heartache and pain that I am feeling. I want to so badly to be able to not do this and to, instead, concentrate on the many blessings that God has given me. This weekend really showed me how much I truly have to be thankful for. There are so many people that have played a role in helping me get to this point in my life. If I sat here and listed them all, I think that this would end up being on the longest blog entries in history. There is only one that deserves the most praise and honor for getting me here: My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

One of my favorite radio stations down here is Air 1 (the Christian alternative channel) I have signed up to be on their e-mail list and they send a daily Bible verse. Today, I was feeling pretty discouraged and this was the verse that was sent: "He will give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. " Matthew 6:33. (NLT)

Praise God for His almighty greatness and the grace that he provides to his people every day.